Have you ever felt like something was…off?

I’e been on Sertraline for 7 years. I started after my ex asked for a divorce. For a few years, it seemed to work a treat.

Now I’m not so sure they are right for me. There’s a huge back story to this. I’m screaming into the void, but I’m not even going to bore the void with it. But let’s just say that I’m having to adjust to a new dose.

And I feel like an overcharged battery. I don’t think that’s right. No anxiety, mind you. That’s not to be sniffed at. But I don’t feel right.

Is this the ADHD I am 99% sure I live with but can’t confirm because it takes 4+ years to get diagnosed and I don’t even have childhood report cards to submit because I live in a different country now? Is ADHD just going “HELLO BABES I’M HERE 😃’?

Because according to the highly scientific repository of medical information known as Reddit, that could be what’s happening. And I’m sorry but after 20+ years of dealing with a wonky head I’m starting to think there’s more value to other people’s experiences than what doctors actually know about neurospicy stuff, which is very little. Which is terrifying.

I’ve felt this before and it’s never ended well. But that’s not an option.

So my plan is to wait, and assume it’s the ADHD I may or may not be making up, and look after myself in a healthy way and see how things go.

Recovery has given me an exceptionally high tolerance for discomfort because it has many uncomfortable moments. But it’s also given me the perspective to realise that getting through those moments rewards me with confidence and pride. That shit hits even better than vodka.

And I am not going to let a little thing like a spicy head get in between me and my starving reward system. I am going to CRUSH this.

YOU HEAR THAT, VOID?!?! I AM GOING TO CRUSH THIS.

(I hope.)