Hello from my new favourite hangout.
What a crazy month it’s been. Well, month and a bit.
Exactly 42 days ago today, I woke up sober and broken in a treatment centre.
Today – for the first time since then – I’ve actually relaxed.
Okay, it was more like I flopped on my bed for an hour, too tired to do anything else. Crucially, I didn’t really have anything else I needed to do.
In 42 days I’ve gone from a shaking, anxious mess to a tired but productive…well, let’s face it I’m still a bit of a mess.
But I’ve packed up my belongings, moved, unpacked and purged enough things that I can navigate comfortably in my new space (there is still plenty more purging to do, however).
I have food in the fridge, and household basics so that I don’t have to run to the shop every day.
I have applied for benefits, sorted out my end of the finances Mrs. M and I need to settles before we officially go our separate ways, insured my belongings and submitted my overdue taxes.
I’ve also been to at least one meeting every day.
In other words, I have been more productive in the last 42 days than I think I’ve been in the two years prior. Not even exaggerating. Much.
This is why I’ve let the blog lapse, and I’m okay with that. These tasks were more important and I’ve quite literally collapsed in bed almost every night since I left treatment from the exhaustion of them all.
There’s still plenty to do, but I’m looking forward to adding a bit more balance to my life.
Recovery is my #1 priority, but there are other areas that need addressing: my appalling diet (I said I had food, but I did not say it was healthy food), my dire financial situation, my flabby muscles and my undernourished creative spirit (which has at least woken up sensing this “now or never” opportunity to indulge in projects that have been put on the back burner since I was oh, 13 maybe?).
They are also important tasks I need to tackle. It’s called “sorting myself out”. The key is to tackle one at a time, and not overwhelm myself.
I am the Queen of Overwhelm. I would prefer to simply “whelm”.
So that’s it for me for today.
Right now I am content to sit in this square, whatever it’s called, and just breathe.