It’s 10pm on a Friday night and I am acutely aware of how few friends I have.
This isn’t a massive revelation or anything. I’ve always preferred the friendship of a few super-close friends to loads of superficial relationships.
I’m an introvert, despite being loud and friendly on first contact (don’t expect the same level of enthusiasm the second time around) and despite posting my private life online (I’m in disguise, remember?) and all the decidedly un-introverted things I do.
As a drinker, the loneliness would’ve been blotted out by vodka by now. There’s a good chance I would be blotting it out with other people, in fact.
As a sober person, my Friday night has included the following list of super-fun activities:
– cooking an entire chicken
– running to the loo every 15 minutes with a suspected infection of sorts (or else my bladder has just given up trying)
– applying Rabbitgoo “privacy film” to my window, which is less difficult than trying to hang a proper blind and still allows light to come in
– listening to Nurse With Wound on Amazon Prime Music, which is as upbeat and peppy as it sounds
Do I need to make new friends? You bet. Is loneliness uncomfortable? Initially, yes. Am I okay though? Yes, I’m fine thanks.
Admittedly, I had myself a good hour of wallowing…and then I got over it and decided to listen to some really weird music. Possibly too weird.
I’m sure there are loads of sober people having a great time somewhere amongst people tonight, but I’m just not one of them. I am strapped for cash and can’t be more than 10 steps away from the toilet anyway.
It’s a bit pathetic, but it’s temporary. I can come to this rational conclusion as a sober person.
I can also now cavort nude around my bedroom and no one will see because of my lovely Rabbitgoo film, and if that isn’t a fun Friday night activity then I don’t know what is.
Plus, when I get hungry from exerting myself, there’s chicken.
Though I will definitely need to change the music if that’s what I decide to do next.