Is that not the most festive 12 Steps you’ve ever seen?
It’s Christmas Eve and I am in rehab. Admittedly, it’s not an experience I particularly want to repeat, but it’s certainly not horrible.
Grattitude is a big part of recovery and each and every one of us nutty lunatics is happy to be here, and to be sober.
The staff are treating us to a takeaway (kebab for some, pizza for others in case you were wondering) and believe me, this is a very special treat.
Keep in mind that this is after we’ve already had snacks, dinner, dessert, extra sandwiches and sausage rolls – and I have a whole box of Lindt chocolates in my room to nail later.
Nothing says Christmas to me more than feeling like I am about to explode and I am definitely not missing out in that department.
There’s also the added relief of not having to struggle with cravings while watching other family members get shitfaced.
Frankly, we’re all relieved to be spared that challenge.
In fact, everybody is feeling quite jolly and the building is looking very festive. I’ve had my elf hat on all day (our little local shop sells everything!) and tomorrow we get a break from our regular routine of intense soul-searching and sharing our most intense feelings.
In other words, for the next 24 hours, we get to feel as normal as possible in this place. We get to relax: We get to have a Christmas!
[Note: I know I’ve been more than a little bit naughty this year, but I’m still hoping Santa will find the time to visit. I’m working really hard at being nice, if that counts for anything.]
Would I rather be with my family? Of course I would. But Christmas is just one day. My health and happiness is for the rest of my life.
I am more than willing to have this Christmas suck just a little bit if it means truly happy Christmasses with family and friends for the rest of my life.
So in a weird twisted way, being in rehab this Christmas is the best possible gift I could ever receive, and hopefully the best gift I can give to the people I love.